LIVING IN AN INSANE WORLD...

UP CLOSE & PERSONAL

Living with someone living with Paranoid Schizophrenia is STRESSFUL & DEPRESSING! 

I've watched helplessly as a loved one angrily throws things, breaks numerous cherished items, bangs violently on doors and walls, curses while raging, issues commands, uses hostile body language and threats, defends all actions, and refuses to leave my home.

I've watched helplessly as a loved one shows obvious signs of mental deterioration after being off medication for more than two years.  But what can you do? How do you deal with someone whose very disease (schizophrenia) creates an inability to perceive there is a cognitive or thinking problem; a shift in reality that is different from the average person?

Who can help? No one, YET!!! The physical health system is more developed than this country's mental health system. Break an arm, you get quick treatment. Have a broken brain, you don't.  No one wants to have a mental illness so the public discourse is already too little, too late. Questions about what's going on in someone head typically come AFTER mass shootings and even if they come before who is really charged in our society with doing anything about sick minds. MENTAL HEALTH REFORM is critically needed, now!!!

 Who can help people experiencing MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES? ANSWER:  No one, really. The law is narrowly defined: an individual has to be a danger to self or others to get any kind of immediate treatment. But, there aren't enough beds in hospitals or jails for the mentally wounded. And many are quite functional some of the time and do not always display a danger to self or others 24/7. Plus mental health is not a top priority in a society that continues to stigmatize those with mental health concerns or conditions. Even though many relationships exhibit some semblance of compromised thinking, the lack of public discourse about mental illness leaves people generally uneducated about non-physical health conditions. We're more likely to freely talk about cardiac arrest, cancer, or diabetes because these are more acceptable "diseases." AND, when it comes to mental diseases research shows more people are now admitting they are depressed, BiPolar, or have PTSD but few are willing to reveal they have  Schizophrenia or problems with their mind... usually because they can't.  

 

SO... how do we help individuals LIVING WITH individuals LIVING WITH Schizophrenia? THE ANSWER:  You're pretty much on your own! One ends up suffering alone without viable options. Family members end up enduring and being terrorized by the frontal lobe disease called schizophrenia.

For example, what do you do when you're being domestically abused by someone with schizophrenia? Do you call the police and risk criminalizing a schizophrenic or do you seek an Emergency Petition from the Court only to have someone with schizophrenia taken to an Emergency Room but released after 72 hours on a psych ward; not surprisingly that individual is even angrier once released. OR... Do you force treatment on those with broken brains via the legal system as advocated by the Treatment Advocacy Center (TAC)?

While there are some resources to increase understanding about the behavior of someone with schizophrenia and support groups... so much more is still needed.  NAMI (the National Alliance on Mental Illness) is to be commended for its free education courses, awareness campaigns, and lobbying of Congress for more help. Thanks to NAMI, TAC, and other organizations, Congress is finally recognizing the "critical need for mental health reform."  Meanwhile... the friends and relatives of those with mental health issues wait.

And until more help comes families and loved ones are having to have to themselves!!!  The first step for now is sound the alarm and become a critical mass for alerting the nation that too many parents, spouses, older adults and others are being held hostage by the deteriorating minds of of untreated schizophrenics.

HOW CAN A LOVED ONE NOT BECOME STRESSED AND/OR DEPRESSED? How tempting it is to use alcohol, drugs or food to cope with the unrelenting behavior of someone with schizophrenia.  But best-selling author Marianne Williamson uses her newest book - TEARS TO TRIUMPH -  to encourage all of us to face the pain rather than trying to numb or ignore it.  TEARS TO TRIUMPH (2016) offers some useful insights for extending a much needed discourse about what to do when confronted by compromised minds. The national health care system benefits from familes trying to help those who are not cognitively at their best.
  The book below is a reminder that anxiety and depression are frequent outcomes when living in an insane world or with insane people.

May you find daily Peace & Love!

DAVID DeWATERS... 

STEPPING FORWARD 2DAY with some MARVELOUSLY CREATIVE  POETRY.

Get to know the Bowie, Maryland AUTHOR via his Blog: http://daviddewaters.com

David DeWaters is a 28 year old poet from the United States. His first book of poetry, Melancholy Songs, is available on Amazon at http://amzn.com/1492131903

The 54-page book published in August 2013 is an insightful read about DEPRESSION!  Visit his website for more of his comments and descriptions about his work.  See his wonderful mind at work. 

Let your own imagination soar by reading some of David's poems out loud.  Here are some samples to start the journey.  Thank you David for sharing...

The stronger the experience, the harder it is to explain

I remember lying in bed, dreaming,
Half-awake at night when I was younger.
Thoughts of life and outer space were teeming
Out my head with amazement and wonder.
The stars and galaxies were my plaything,
Drifting above me up there in the sky.
I used to think it all so amazing,
But those thoughts have dwindled as time’s gone by.
I used to stretch my imagination
Further than it could go with imagery.
Now I’m reduced to write sad narration,
Of times gone by reduced to memory.
Nonetheless, I look back at it fondly,
And sometimes it even helps to calm me.

—David DeWaters, Imagination

This poem is my attempt at capturing a real, vivid experience that I had when I was younger. I also talk about this experience in the poem that I’m currently working on, but I don’t want to paste it all here because it’s too long of a passage.

Anyway, it might not be obvious what I mean when I say “I used to stretch my imagination / Further than it could go with imagery,” but this is actually a key to understanding the experience. At the heart of the experience is an indescribable feeling, only reached by exceeding the limits of my imagination. The sheer vastness of outer-space is incomprehensible, and through the act of trying to comprehend it, I was able to experience this feeling.

I’ve always been able to experience at least a minor form of lucid dreaming and the ability to control the path that my dreams take, and this probably added to the feeling that I felt. It was a short-lived feeling, and often I would try to repeat the same steps that I took to achieve the feeling immediately after it went away. I know sometimes I would start by imagining something small, something here on Earth, then slowly “zooming out” until I reached the depths of space. Or perhaps I would imagine slowly going back in time until I reached the beginning of time. Eventually, I would reach a point where I couldn’t go back any farther, and that is when I would feel this feeling. It took a great deal of concentration to achieve it, and I wasn’t always successful at it. Over time, I became less and less capable of experiencing it to the point where now I am completely incapable.

So, there is no moral to this post or anything. I just thought I would go into a little more detail in regards to what this poem is about. It’s impossible to do justice to the experience by trying to put it into words, and, truthfully, I haven’t put very much effort into explaining it because I know it would ultimately be futile, but hopefully the poem will have a little more meaning to it after reading this explanation.

By |April 15th, 2014|David DeWaters|1 Comment

More from David's Blog:  www.daviddewaters.com

Time to talk about depression a little bit

I do hate to write about depression,
At least as often as I seem to do.
I would hate to give off the impression
That I’m selfish and of myself consumed.

—David DeWaters, But How Do I Feel This Very Moment?

I haven’t really talked too much about depression on this blog, which may seem strange given the subject matter of my book, but I think these lines from my poem, But How Do I Feel This Very Moment?, help to explain this phenomenon.

Basically, I don’t want to talk about depression. I experience it everyday, and it isn’t enjoyable. However, I need to keep in mind why I published my poems in the first place. Sure, I wanted to showcase my ability as a writer and poet, but I also realized that I was in an unusual position whereby I suffered from depression yet was able to talk about it and express how it feels. I felt obligated to publish my poems and I feel privileged to be able to lend my voice to others who may be going through the same thing yet have no way to express themselves. So, I think I would be doing a disservice if I continued on with this blog without discussing depression every once in a while.

I mentioned in a comment on here that I have trouble accepting compliments from people, and this stems from my depression. Basically, I’m so used to hating myself that it just feels weird and uncomfortable being lauded for something. I don’t feel worthy of anybody’s praise. Obviously, I know how to respond to a compliment. It doesn’t take much more than a thank you. The problem is that it feels dishonest. If I were being honest, I’d say something like, “Uh, no. You’re wrong. I’m actually a garbage individual.” Personally, I think this stops many people from talking about their depression. They don’t want other people’s sympathy because they don’t feel worthy of it, which, ironically, is actually quite a commendable attitude to have.

By |April 11th, 2014|David DeWaters|3 Comments

Feel free to leave your comments here or at David's Blog at  (www.daviddewaters.com)

May is Mental Health Awareness Month. 

Help break the stigma: talk about mental health issues, concerns, coping strategies, recognizing symptoms, and increased need for more programs and treatment sources in our communities.

COLLECTIVE INSANITY in the 21st Century... the new normal! So much madness, so much stress, so many people in emotional pain, so many struggling relationships, an overwhelming amount of technological advances that allow more and more to isolate, moving us away from community and fellowship. It's a miracle even more don't suffer from DEPRESSION or have other mental health issues. 

BRAVO to Chiara, New York City's first daughter for putting a face on depression.

The 19-year old college student is poignant when she steps forward and reminds all of us that DEPRESSION is a disease, that cognitive or mood problems are biologically based.  There's no shame in anyone's game for seeking treatment. It's a right and an essential need for a humane and just society.  Unfortunately, when the federal government shifted responsibility for the "mentally ill" to the states in the late 1980s, patients without medical insurance were largely neglected.  Even now it is clear that the general public tends to be more supportive of social security policy than it is of mental health policy.  Yet, the fabric of our society demands parity of treatment for those who have illnesses above the neck, as well as those who struggle with physical illness in the rest of the body.

Bravo to Chiara for speaking out, first in December 2013 and more recently in an essay in xoJane.

Chiara talks about being in recovery during Mental Health Awareness Month, in an essay in xoJane

I'M CHIARA DE BLASIO AND I'M A YOUNG WOMAN IN RECOVERY

It’s progress -- not perfection -- that’s important.

Chiara de Blasio

May 6, 2014 at 12:20pm | 171 comments

READ FULL STORY HERE

http://www.xojane.com/issues/im-chiara-de-blasio-and-im-a-young-woman-in-recovery

Mental Illness in the Movies...

The mental illness stigma took a serious hit this year with the arrival of two movies:  Silver Linings Playbook & Mental. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll shake your head, and possibly even yell but one thing is certain - you'll have something new to talk about when it comes to MENTAL ILLNESS. 

You can follow the story of two lost souls looking for a silver lining as they wrestle with mental health issues. But whether the focus is on his (Bradley Cooper) bipolar disorder or her (Jennifer Lawrence) depression and post-traumatic stress issues... you get to see a brain disease from the inside-out and the outside-in.  Hold onto your seats, it's an emotional roller coaster ride.  If you've ever wonder what it feels like to have serious highs and lows (manic depression/bipolar disorder) or cognitive changes (schizophrenia) or a bit of both (schizoaffective disorder), this film takes you there with superb acting and story-telling.  Coping with an obsessive compulsive disorder or stressed out from caregiving for a relative with mental health issues is clearly revealed as a family affair.  

By the end of the movie you come to understand why it is so difficult for those with a mental illness to succeed with doing what AA requires in Step One of its 12-Step Program - COME TO ADMIT YOU HAVE A PROBLEM.  How do you do that with a "broken brain?"  How can you get to Step One when you have a disease that tells you there is nothing wrong with you?  While Silver Linings Playbook doesn't have many answers about treatment or successful recovery, it does provide insights and raise questions about the mental health system itself and the lack of a silver lining for too many.

Yet, it is noteworthy that a film about mental illness could garner Oscar nominations and an award while competing against such major films as Les Miserables.  It was 1975 when One Who Flew Over the Cuckoo Nest scored. So it's been awhile since another film on mental illness - Girl Interrupted (1999) got such Hollywood's attention. Angelina Jolie who played a diagnosed sociopath won an Oscar for best supporting actress; Winona Ryder played the author Susanna Kaysen whose 1993 memoir of the same name poignantly told about her 18-month stay in a Massachusetts' mental institution. 

It is also extraordinary that Silver Linings Playbook, a rather low-budget, sleeper of a film made history by becoming the first movie in 31 years to receive nominations in all acting categories.  The stellar cast which also includes Robert De Niro and Julia Stiles shines under the superb direction of someone who personally experiences mental illness in his family - Hollywood industry veteran David O. Russell and the excellent source material of best selling author Matthew Quick.

He certainly leaves his audience with many quotable reminders about life and mental illness:

“Most people lose the ability to see silver linings even though they are always there above us almost every day.” 

“It hurts to look at the clouds, but it also helps, like most things that cause pain.” 

“I don't want to stay in the bad place, where no one believes in silver linings or love or happy endings.” 

“Life is not a PG feel-good movie. Real life often ends badly. Literature tries to document this reality, while showing us it is still possible for us to endure nobly.” 

“I opened up to you and you judge me” 

“Haven't you ever noticed that life is like a series of movies?” 

― Matthew Quick, The Silver Linings Playbook

   WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE MENTAL?

Have you ever felt like you didn't belong?  According to one of the characters in the new Australian movie - MENTAL:  There's no such thing as normal; there's just different shades of mental.

You can't turn away for even a moment in this movie. Not when the five daughters of a political couple are all convinced that they are suffering from some kind of undiagnosed mental illness.

The movie which is now available on DVD is fun, loud, insightful, and often... just out-of-control. It's a black comedy brought to you by the director of Muriel's Wedding  - P. J. Hogan. The writer-director of Mental uses songs from the Sound of Music and a zany hitchhiker played by Toni Colletti to demonstrate what happens to the "fun" in dysfunctional. If you can handle more than one person going "mental" at a time, then you're likely to really get the uncanny way in which P. J. Hogan challenges stereotypes about mental illness. 

There's nudity and profanity, so families will want to screen Mental for the appropriate age level to see it.  The dialogue however shows there is plenty to explore and discuss: what is mental illness? And, Mental tears along showing just how much needs fixing in probably all of us - souls, spirits, personalities, thoughts, beliefs, and more.  

So it's kind of a mental thing itself when Shaz, the hitchhiker, shares her theory about the "normal" and not so normal in the clip below:   As the delusionals, the borderlines, compulsives, paranoid, schizoid make up Australia as we know it. We're nothing but a living experiment in madness under constant observation by the psychiatric community of the world.

We hope you will share your comments about either or both of the above movies in the space below.  Step Forward 2 day and speak out about the need for better mental health services and attitudes. 

Mental Illness in the News

Is former Save by the Bell star LARK VOORHIES BiPolar?   

    Her mother claims she is, but the actress denies that she has a mental illness and calls what her mother says - "comical."  Have a listen in this TMZ interview.  It's a heartbreaker.


As an advocate for those with a mental illness, as well as their caregivers, my mission is to help remove the STIGMA and educate others about what happens when the brain works differently because of disease or injury. The more who reveal a mental illness, the more the public learns about it.  In fact, by the number of celebrities, alone, who admit to some kind of mental illness, it is readily apparent that the diagnosis is not a death sentence.  Many diagnosed with BiPolar Disorder, serious depression, and other mental illness can and do hold jobs.  When they have support via family and friends, follow treatment plans, and take prescribed medicine... they also tend to function well in society.  Who can forget some of their memorable performances in the movies and on stage.

Here is the original story about actress Lark Voorhies.

‘Saved By the Bell’ star Lark Voorhies has bipolar disorder, according to her mother

By Suzy Byrne | Yahoo! TV – Wed, Oct 3, 2012 9:42 AM PDT

 Last spring, Lark Voorhies appeared on Yahoo!’s series “The Yo Show” (watch the episode below) to reminisce about her days on the ’90s Saturday-morning sitcom “Saved By the Bell.” She looked drastically different from how we remembered little Lisa Turtle – her hair was dyed red and she had on heavy makeup – starting rumors of all sorts. Sparked by that appearance, People magazine conducted a series of interviews with the actress, and in their new issue they report on Lark’s “sad spiral,” which the actress’ mother attributes to mental illness.

People reports that during a recent photo shoot with the 38-year-old actress, her “once-sparkling brown eyes” were “disturbingly vacant.” Lark kept a “near-constant dialogue – by turns mournful, frenetic, and angry – with unseen figures,” and struggled “to focus for even brief moments.” Although Lark denied to the magazine that she suffers from mental illness – the devout Jehovah’s Witness answered the question by saying, “Oh no. We’re alive in a major time of all-in-all prophecy” – her mother, who lives with her and was also interviewed for the story, said the former child star has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, for which she has been prescribed medication.

[Related: 'Saved by the Bell's' Mr. Belding now a pro wrestler]

“I care deeply about my daughter and I want her to resume her life,” her mother, Tricia, told People. However, she noted that finding the right treatment – and getting Lark’s cooperation in following through with it – has been “frustrating.”

While Lark herself didn’t admit to mental illness, the actress – who had to schedule a second interview with the magazine after struggling through the first one – toldPeople she has been in a constant battle with herself. “We met at a very powerful moment – it’s like carrying on the interview in a hurricane,” she said. She tried to explain away her abrupt, extended silences during the conversation by saying, “You caught me in moments of prayer. I have a strong spiritual sense.” She also talked about the voices in her head, but the magazine noted that she was “defiant about getting psychiatric help.” Explaining her reasoning, Lark said, “They can’t explain it. They can’t treat it. They don’t know about it.”

[Related: We Chat With Mark-Paul Gosselaar about 'Saved by the Bell']

Tricia told People that her daughter’s mental health issues stem from various traumatic incidents in her life, but she wouldn’t elaborate. “I don’t want to go there,” she said. She did say that Lark’s stalled career after “Saved by the Bell” ended in 1993 caused “a lot of stress,” and her divorce from Miguel Coleman in 2001 “caused a kind of break. … The trauma was back.” These days, Lark resides with her mother; drives, but only close to home; and has few friends. Tricia says she’s not giving up hope that her daughter will pull through, noting, "She's trying so hard. She says she's delayed, but she's going to get there."

Telling Your Stories Matter...

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Sunday, June 24, 2012 

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/06/24/magazine/when-my-crazy-father-actually-lost-his-mind.html?ref=magazine

When My Crazy Father Actually Lost His Mind

                                                By JENEEN INTERLANDI

And what it took to get him the help he needed.

Elinor Carucci/Redux, for The New York Times

                         The author with her mother, Patricia, and her father, Joseph.

A REVIEW

No one really understands how a person with a broken brain struggles like those engulfed in the struggle. Here's a daughter who tells a poignant story that captures the "craziness" and myth of a working mental health system in the USA. The leaky social net for treating mental illness is so vividly exposed that it becomes clear even the latest health care reform efforts aren't enough.  It takes ten pages for the author to fully tell what happened to her and her family after her father lost his mind to a bipolar disorder.  As you read her story, remember that in the mental illness political ring there are two ongoing narratives:  those favoring unconditional civil rights for the mentally ill and those favoring helping the mentally ill when they can't help themselves, by committing them to treatment against their will.  There is no middle ground. Mentally ill people have civil rights all the time or they don't under exceptional conditions.

As you read this heart-rendering story, you should be able to identify your position by the end of it.  And it's that position that you will want to make clear when you tell your stories about coping with a mentally ill loved one. When you do you will thus be advocating for either AOT or ACT. Assisted Outpatient Treatment (AOT) allows involuntary treatment with a law that moves beyond the narrow "danger to self or others" standard.  Assisted Community Treatment (ACT) sidesteps the involuntary committment issue by using the courts to order a mental health team to provide treatment BUT only if mentally ill persons volunteer or agree to the court-ordered solution.

Please take time to thank The New York Times for publishing this well-written and deeply personal article about mental illness.  The paper's heroic effort helps to lift the stigma veil and helps to bring attention to mental health illness issues; the article is important because it helps to increase  awareness about the second-class treatment of our mentally ill relatives. Thank you NYT and Jeneen Interlandi. You've both done what Hollywood and the White House haven't been able to do: make real the very real experiences of so many American mental health caregivers and their relatives. Anyone who involuntary treatment is unnecessary because violent incidents by the mentally ill are the exception, rather than the rule, miss the point - each act of psychotic violence probably represents tens of thousands of families already struggling to keep the same from happening with their mentally challenged loved-one.

Mental Illness is a huge and often well-hidden problem.  Instead of being treated like modern-day lepers, the mentally ill need better treatment and respect . No one wants to be mentally ill; recovery when it does occur is often a lengthy process.  It's thus in the public's interest to increase beds and services for those who can't mentally handle their situations.  Would you let a person in shock after an auto accident refuse treatment when you see him bleeding on the side of the road?  Would a physician refuse to treat a child with a broken arm? Wouldn't a parent be held negligent for not taking an injured child to the doctor. Yet because few people recognized the physical symptoms of mental illness of any kind (bipolar, schizophrenia, depression, personality disorder, etc.) it often goes untreated in the initial stages.  What makes a mental illness so insidious is that you can't see a broken brain.  That coupled with the disease itself, often causing its victims to declare that they are not sick and don't need treatment, as Jeneen Interlandi's story so painfully depicts.

As a certified teacher for the Family2Family education course for the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), I continually teach our mantra - you can't know what no one has told you.  Re-education then is the first key; re-dedication to funding mental health programs and positions, is the second.  Treatment works.  But getting long-term and consistent care to help stabilize a problem in the head, is a major frustration for caregiving families and individuals. Not surprisingly families of the mentally ill become exhausted and stressed as they take on the roles of case managers and protectors.

One of the most revealing and painful facts in When My Father Actually Lost His Mind occurs when it becomes clear that getting their loved-one stabilized is more difficult without long-term coordinated services. While it is fortunate that Mr. Interlandi's bipolar symptoms began to subside, which is sometimes the case after many years, it should be noted that his improvement might have come sooner with a better kind of health care system.  Indeed, it should not be forgotten that much of Mr. Interlandi's improvement may also have been the result of the strong support system provided by his loving family.  I know of hundreds of families providing the same kind of up close and personal, intensive-kind of loving care for a mentally challenged loved one.

Jeneen Interlandi thus makes a significant contribution by so eloquently bringing some very much needed attention to an almost hidden epidemic.  By increasing the awareness of millions about mental illness with her story, I am confident that many more are now aware that mental illness is a family issue and a biological problem. Perhaps now more people in and out of the mental health care system will understand to what extent mental illness is a precusor for the increasing number of individuals who are homeless or in our jails.

Because stigma prevails...  we need to keep telling and hearing about stories involving mental illness.  Stepping Forward2Day is one way to do that.  This Blog is therefore being used to sound an URGENT clarion call for action.  The comments and stories you share will be presented to Congress, state legislators, the President, Governors, and other policymakers in September 2012.  It's time to wake-up America with more stories about real people coping with a mental health care system that often does as much harm, as good in the 21st Century.

Again, thanks to the NYT, magazine editor Vera Titunik, and Jeneen Interlandi for sharing an extraordinary and moving story about the ongoing effect of mental illness in our communities.  Well done!

               

Follow @gloriadeegibson